When Does It Get Good?

E19: Who's Gonna Take Us to Jail? with Leadership Coach Parissa Behnia

“Who’s going to take us to jail for deciding to re-record a podcast episode?” Parissa Behnia asks Zovig Garboushian. “This is a beautiful invitation for us to walk our talk. If we tell other people not to be so hard on themselves, then why can’t we take that same invitation for ourselves?”
 
Parissa, who’s an executive coach, a speaker, and the author of “Modern Badass: Tales from the Leadership Front,” joins Zovig in this episode. They recount how Zovig felt uncomfortable with their original recording, unsure of how to address the issue. When she finally voiced her concerns, Parissa responded with understanding, suggesting they simply re-record the episode. This experience became a valuable lesson in self-compassion, flexibility, and perfectionism—reflecting the very coaching advice they give their clients.
 
They explore the importance of giving oneself grace and how embracing imperfection is essential for personal growth. Parissa and Zovig encourage listeners to shift away from rigid expectations and instead see mistakes as opportunities for learning. By fostering a mindset of self-compassion, they show how this approach can lead to greater creativity, resilience, and a healthier, more sustainable path to success.
 
Quotes
“What if, in accepting our mortality, we actually perform even better than we would if we were trying to do everything on our own? What if we would allow ourselves imperfection in pursuit of something audacious, amazing, or that next big thing, because we’ve shared with everyone that we are mortal, that we are flawed, and that we don’t always do things as well as we could?” (09:52 | Parissa Behnia) 
“There isn’t a perfect tree in nature. So, if there’s no perfect tree in nature, why are we creating these unfair standards for us in terms of how we live?” (21:24 | Parissa Behnia)
“The only way that you can get stronger over time is by having tiny tears in your muscle. That’s how you build muscle. What you and I experience, where we say, ‘Oh my gosh, I really screwed that up,’ or ‘This was a setback,’ or ‘I messed that up,’ what if we were to look at it as the way building strength actually looks? We had a tear in our muscle, and over time, that makes us stronger.” (31:15 | Parissa Behnia)
“When you say, ‘What are your top three values or your top five values?’ or any number of exercises that you can do to figure that out, it’s, ‘All right, well, how do you create the environment that is consistent with those values?’ or ‘how do you be with people so that you’re with them and still align with your values?’ Once that stuff is identified upfront, the environment becomes easier to suss out. Understanding your triggers becomes easier to suss out because they’re always attached to what your values might be.” (45:18 | Parissa Behnia)
 
Links
Connect with Parissa Behnia:
Parissa's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/behnia/
Parissa's Book: https://www.amazon.com/Modern-Badass-Tales-Leadership-Front/dp/1957651210
Parissa's Website: https://sixensestrategy.com/
 
Connect with Zovig Garboushian:
Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/zoviggarboushian/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

E18: Career Advice From a Non-Career Coach: Networking Edition

“Leveraging your network is a big component of the career journey,” says Zovig Garboushian. She discusses how networking is essential for career development, particularly for people going through purposeful or involuntary job transitions. According to Zovig, successful networking requires three key steps: first, communicating your present work in a clear and concise manner to provide context; second, articulating your specific career goals so that your network can assist you successfully; and third, following up to keep the momentum going.
 
Zovig offers practical examples, comparing vague networking emails to those with clear, focused messaging. Why does clarity matter? Because when you’re specific about what you’re looking for, it not only makes it easier for your network to spot opportunities for you, but it also shows confidence and self-awareness.
 
Zovig encourages listeners to be proactive and intentional in their career journeys. Building enduring relationships that can influence your career through effective networking is more important than merely reaching out when you need something. It’s about continuously fostering relationships so that you’re ready when opportunities come your way.
 
Quotes
“I strongly encourage everybody to talk to people, grab coffees, have video chats or phone calls, get some FaceTime, get some voice time, because that’s how people remember you, and that’s relationship building. And when you have a relationship, people want to help.” (01:41 | Zovig Garboushian)
“Don't assume people know what you do, even the people who know you well. Telling people what you currently do gives them context, because what you're doing is shaping the conversation with someone who will hopefully want to help you, but they will want to help you more if you ground them in something, if you give them context. Not too much, not too little, but enough so they can calibrate to where you are in your career and who you are to them.”
“The clearer that you are with yourself about what you’re looking for, the more successfully you can mobilize your network. Do not make people do the work for you.” (07:16 | Zovig Garboushian) 
“When we show up fully prepared, it sends a message about who we are. So if we are hesitant or tentative about how we’re reaching out to people, how we’re presenting ourselves, then the person on the receiving end is going to assume that you’re going to show up that way in every conversation, in every situation. But when you show up fully prepared, it makes someone like me want to go to bat for you. Because if I’m introducing you to someone I know, that’s a relationship I’m extending to you, and that can reflect positively or poorly on me.” (12:16 | Zovig Garboushian) 
 
Links
Connect with Zovig Garboushian:
Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/zoviggarboushian/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

E17: Trust Issues: The Problem With Being Too Trusting

“I don’t think that trust is something that should be easily bestowed. It needs time to build. We have to see one another in different situations and circumstances, in stress or turmoil, and how they and I respond in those moments. All that stuff needs time to play out, and it evolves as we get to know people,” says Zovig Garboushian.
 
In this episode, Zovig explores what trust really is and why it transcends just admiration or belief in someone. She divides trust into three components: our own and other people’s trust, as well as the trust we have earned from others. How can trust be established in those settings? Zovig offers a simple structure with a focus on reliability, consistency, credibility, and compassion. She discusses the value of self-trust in laying the groundwork for personal growth and resilience.
 
Tune in to this episode of When Does It Get Good? to gain valuable insights on how to strengthen trust in your relationships and, just as importantly, how to deepen the trust you have in yourself—building a stronger foundation for personal growth and resilience.
 
Quotes
“I try to practice a wait-and-see attitude… I don’t think trust is something that should be easily bestowed. It needs time to build. We have to see one another in different situations and circumstances, in stress or turmoil, and how they and I respond in those moments. All that stuff needs time to play out, and it evolves as we get to know people.” (02:28 | Zovig Garboushian) 
“When we have trust in ourselves, we are free to fail.” (21:48 | Zovig Garboushian)
“When it comes to thinking about trust in ourselves, credibility is about knowing who we are and being a credible source of truth for ourselves.” (25:03 | Zovig Garboushian)
“The world will always tell us who it thinks we are and who it thinks we should be. We are in charge of wading through that information to identify who we are in this world, regardless of what others say or think. And the only way to do that is to explore ourselves, to find out who we are.” (25:25 | Zovig Garboushian) 
“Trusting people from the beginning, I think, is a little irresponsible. We need to have discernment about how we engage with people, who we engage with, who we put our energy into, who we put our faith, hope, and trust into. We have to be discerning; that’s part of self-care. But when we trust ourselves, we can exercise more choice. We feel freer to experiment and take risks. And, so importantly, we learn to let things go more easily. When we trust ourselves, others trust us. And that is when things really start to get good.” (30:07 | Zovig Garboushian) 
Links
Book - Be A Shortcut: The Secret Fast Track to Business Success:
https://www.amazon.com/Be-Shortcut-Secret-Business-Success/dp/0470270365
 
Connect with Zovig Garboushian:
Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/zoviggarboushian/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

E16: When Expectations Don't Match Reality With Psychotherapist Wendy Morgan

“Unspoken expectations are always future resentments,” says Wendy Morgan, a psychotherapist and educator at Fleming College. In this episode, Wendy joins Zovig Garboushian to talk about the often overlooked gap between what we expect and what actually happens—a key challenge in both therapy and personal growth. She introduces her “expectations framework,” a practical tool she developed to help people navigate the complex emotions that surface when reality doesn't match up with their expectations.
 
Why is clear communication so crucial in our relationships? Wendy explains how being upfront about our expectations can prevent resentment and build empathy, whether in our personal lives or professional settings. She also discusses the overlap between coaching and therapy, particularly in addressing unmet expectations and unresolved issues from the past. Through relatable examples, Wendy encourages self-reflection and honest conversations, offering insights into how aligning expectations with reality can lead to personal growth and healthier relationships.
 
Quotes
“Unspoken expectations are always future resentments.” (18:05 | Wendy Morgan) 
“When we think about difficult emotions—things like frustration, anger, and resentment—those emotions exist between two places: reality and expectation. The farther apart reality and expectation are, the greater those feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment become. The closer reality and expectation are, we can diminish the sensation of those emotions.” (11:13 | Wendy Morgan) 
“We can’t always change things; we can’t always move reality. Sometimes we can do things to shift reality, but what we always have some level of control over is our expectations, particularly our own expectations.” (11:57 | Wendy Morgan)
“Boundaries are fluid. Boundaries move with us. Boundaries are actually for us to protect ourselves. So, if someone is coming and it looks like they’re going to breach our boundary, one of the ways we can protect it is to actually back up. We take our boundaries with us. They live within us.” (41:59 | Wendy Morgan) 
 
Links
Expectations Framework: https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AVzOAG9yeNabkXRnEAwIoXCEOqbHv0-/view?usp=sharing
 
Connect with Wendy Morgan:
Website: www.wendymorgantherapy.ca
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-morgan-46658116
Connect with Zovig Garboushian:
Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

E15: Peeling Back the Programming with Astrologer Meredith McCowan

“There is a layer of intuition in every craft and everything we do in life, but astrology is very science-based,” explains professional astrologer Meredith McCowan. In this episode, she joins Zovig Garboushian to explore astrology’s impact on self-awareness and personal development.
 
Meredith shares her journey from a corporate career to becoming an astrologer, emphasizing astrology’s role in reconnecting with her intuitive self. She clarifies that astrology goes beyond sun signs, explaining the significance of the sun, moon, and rising signs in shaping one’s identity. Astrology, Meredith notes, is a science-based tool that offers deep insights into personality and life paths by combining elements of astronomy, trigonometry, mythology, and psychology.
 
They discuss how understanding one’s astrological chart can reveal hidden talents, people-pleasing tendencies, and areas of safety and security, helping individuals make conscious choices aligned with their true nature. Listeners are encouraged to explore their astrological charts and consider how this ancient science can contribute to their journey of self-discovery and growth.
 
Quotes
“There is a layer of intuition in every craft and everything we do in life, but astrology is very science-based. There’s astronomy, trigonometry, and math, but there’s also storytelling, mythology, and archetypes—more of the psychology of what we go through on this planet.” (09:08 | Meredith McCowan)
“This is where I recommend everybody start, whether you actually want to study astrology or get to know your own chart. I promise that if you learn the big three about yourself and the people you love, it will change your perspective on a lot of things.” (22:12 | Meredith McCowan)
“Pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, taking that risk, and taking that leap are massive leaps and bounds in confidence and trust and faith in your own abilities. So when I see people register that they are even clinging to safety or security and taking that leap, they find out it actually wasn’t that scary; the universe just kind of opened up.” (42:06 | Meredith McCowan) 
“I practice astrology every day. It’s like a craft that I feel can never be mastered because there’s so much more depth and so much to learn. I am obsessed; it’s my jam, and I love it… When I first learned astrology, I thought everyone must know this. We should teach it in schools. But then I realized, okay, hold on; it’s not for everybody. However, it is for a lot of people, and it can explain so much, even when it comes to romance.” (45:01 | Meredith McCowan) 
 
Links
Connect with Meredith McCowan:
Website - www.earthlingastrology.com
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/meredith-mccowan-589a0b23a/
Social Media: @EARTHLINGASTRO (Twitter, Tik Tok, Instagram & Facebook)
 
Connect with Zovig Garboushian:
Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

E14: Agreeing With Everything Doesn't Make You A Doormat

“Accepting is acknowledging and being with the truth of a situation,” says Zovig Garboushian as she delves into the transformative concept of Radical Acceptance. Inspired by Tara Brach’s book “Radical Acceptance,” Zovig discusses the damaging effects of the inner critic and the habit of self-judgment. She shares personal experiences from yoga classes and daily life to illustrate how saying “yes” can help counteract judgment and foster acceptance. She also explains how shifting from resistance to openness can alleviate stress and lead to more conscious decision-making. 
 
Quotes
“I remember years ago, in my 20s, a really amazing therapist said to me, ‘Zovig, it seems like you object to your own feelings, like whatever you’re feeling isn’t allowed.’ So, I can criticize outwardly and then I can criticize myself for being critical. It seemed to him that the way I was reacting to my own feelings was that I should be feeling something else. And so, if we don’t allow ourselves to feel this, as Tara Brach calls it, grouchiness and moodiness, if we don’t allow ourselves those things and say yes to them, then we stuff them down. As I’m sure you know, that could cause them to leak out and, in some cases, explode at very inopportune moments. Saying yes is a way to accept what’s happening and then allow myself to make a choice about it.” (09:15 | Zovig Garboushian) 
“When you take the judgment out of the experience, you can relate to the experience differently. Because when we’re judging something, we’re not looking at a situation clearly. We’re not able to make conscious choices about what, if anything, we would want to do for ourselves.” (12:05 | Zovig Garboushian)
“Accepting is acknowledging and being with the truth of a situation.” (13:23 | Zovig Garboushian)
 
Links
Connect with Zovig Garboushian:
Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com
Radical Acceptance Book: https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/radical-acceptance-embracing-your-life-with-the-heart-of-a-buddha_tara-brach/246265/item/5660315/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=pmax_high_vol_scarce_under_%2410&utm_adgroup=&utm_term=&utm_content=&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw2Je1BhAgEiwAp3KY74nU6oKvww9u-7jVzNgKesRQRMEgRpn3ug01HpCju_jXpI7GCp7KwxoCvw4QAvD_BwE#idiq=5660315&edition=3394663
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

E13: Life's Greatest Distraction: Worrying About What Others Think

“This isn’t about ignoring what others think. It’s about understanding it and choosing how it impacts us,” declares Zovig Garboushian as she unpacks the fear of judgment and learns to embrace humility. This humility, she argues, is the key to overcoming the worry about others’ opinions and finding more freedom to be oneself.
 
In this episode, Zovig addresses the anxiety of worrying about others’ opinions, especially for those in leadership and high-visibility roles. She shares her experience growing up in a traditional Armenian family, highlighting how cultural conditioning affects self-worth and the need for external validation.
 
Zovig discusses the dangers of people-pleasing and the fear of rejection, offering advice on distinguishing constructive feedback from noise. She emphasizes self-acceptance and humility as keys to overcoming self-doubt, proposing that recognizing our inherent worth can liberate us from judgment.
 
This episode is a call to embrace humility and self-acceptance, not just as concepts but as practical pathways to overcoming self-doubt and achieving a more authentic existence. Join Zovig to learn how to break free from societal approval constraints and find genuine contentment in your own skin.
 
Quotes
“I wish there was a trick to eradicate this behavior entirely. I don't think that there is, even after a lifetime of meditation. I don’t know if it’s entirely possible to remove that behavior entirely. But what I do know is that we can learn to pull ourselves out of those moments faster and have them not affect us as much. But it is a practice.” (02:47 | Zovig Garboushian)
“The secret to letting go of what other people think is humility. It’s the understanding that no one person is any better or any worse than you.” (15:59 | Zovig Garboushian)
“When I am humble, I don’t need someone else’s approval. If we are humble, we can spend less time proving ourselves and more time being ourselves. Humility takes work. You gotta take your ego out of the game. You gotta cut through the zero-sum thinking. You have to drop the perfectionism and allow yourself to be flawed and know that it means nothing about the quality of who you are. To be humble, we have to know that we are not what we do.” (20:07 | Zovig Garboushian) 
 
Links
Connect with Zovig Garboushian:
Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

E12: Leaving at Intermission & Other Good Things About Getting Older With Cheryl Sternberg

Aging gracefully means knowing when to leave at intermission, embracing the freedom to live authentically, and finding joy in the unexpected benefits of getting older. In this episode, Zovig Garboushian invites her longtime friend and retired boomer Cheryl Sternberg to discuss the intricacies of aging across generational lines. They share their rich life experiences, exploring how getting older has reshaped their perceptions of self-awareness, personal freedom, and relationship dynamics.
 
Zovig talks about her newfound liberation in middle age, emphasizing the importance of making choices that reflect her desires and setting boundaries around her time, emotions, and finances. Cheryl reflects on how retirement has given her the emotional space to focus on herself, something she missed during her busy career and motherhood.
 
They discuss the evolution of relationships, stressing the value of maintaining a core circle of trusted friends while naturally distancing from less positive connections. Both women touch on professional integrity, sharing experiences of standing firm in their beliefs despite opposition.
 
True contentment in aging comes from knowing oneself, nurturing supportive relationships, and living authentically. This dialogue between generations offers listeners insightful perspectives on navigating the complexities of aging with confidence and clarity.
 
Quotes
“​​What it looks like now is having more time and emotional energy, and, I guess, in some ways, permission from the universe to spend more time working on myself. In terms of the me that makes me happy, the me that I can look at and say, “Wow, I just did that thing that I never would have even tried to do years ago,” sometimes it has to do with not needing permission from anyone. At other times, it has to do with seeking consultation from people you trust.” (03:47 | Cheryl Sternberg)
“It’s a great metaphor, leaving at intermission. Like for life, you know, just deciding that, okay, this is no longer right for me. I’m now leaving. This is my intermission... It’s an opportunity to change to another. I mean, it isn’t like leaving this world. You’re not saying, ‘That’s it, I’m done with my life because I’m not happy with this particular play.’ But you’re saying, ‘Yes, there’s some place I’d rather be. I can get there easily and with a clear conscience.’ …I will feel better and more congruent and more myself if I go now.” (29:41 | Zovig Garboushian & Cheryl Sternberg) 
“The thing that’ll get you through the best is this combination of knowing and loving yourself and knowing and loving your partner. Whether it’s a romantic partner, a family member, or even a boss if you’re still working at this age, which many people are, it’s that connectedness that matters.” (44:32 | Cheryl Sternberg) 
 
Links
Connect with Zovig Garboushian:
Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

E11: Letting Go of Control through Psychedelics & Plant Medicine, with My Husband Stephen Bourne

Unveiling the intricate synergy between psychedelics, plant medicine, and their profound impact on relationships, today's discussion offers enlightening insights into the transformative journeys of self-discovery and connection. In this episode, Zovig Garboushian joins her husband, Stephen Bourne, to share their personal experiences with these powerful healing tools.
 
Stephen discusses his journey with plant medicine, which began after a difficult divorce in 2008. Guided by a mentor, he discovered the emotional healing and profound insights these substances can provide.
 
Zovig and Stephen delve into the transformative effects of psychedelics like MDMA, psilocybin, and LSD on their relationship. They explain how these substances have deepened their connection, facilitated open communication, and offered new perspectives on personal challenges. They emphasize the importance of self-love, shedding preconceptions, and understanding oneself beyond societal labels and achievements.
 
The couple advocates for the respectful and conscious use of psychedelics and plant medicine, viewing them as sacred tools for personal development and self-discovery. This episode explores the therapeutic potential of psychedelics, offering valuable insights into personal and relational transformation.
 
Quotes
“I had defined my entire existence about what I did and not who I was. I had no value in who I was. All my value was what I did, how I did things, how well I worked, how good of a worker I was, or how good of an architect I was. Those were how I defined my worth. That exercise then leading into this heart opening medicine showed me that I am none of those things. Those are just things that I function as. It was such a core lesson really early on in my journey because it allowed me to separate and detach my experience internally from my experience externally and really start to distinguish that I am worthy even as I am because part of the lesson is that you are all these things.” (24:27 | Stephen Bourne) 
“There's something else about me that goes beyond architect or father or fisherman. And I exist before any of those things. My worthiness is not dependent on what I do. It’s just dependent on me showing up as me.” (27:42 | Stephen Bourne)
“Every failure is not an indictment on your worthiness or yourself or why you’re here. It’s just another lesson.” (32:36 | Stephen Bourne) 
 
Links
Connect with Stephen Bourne:
Website: https://siteplanmix.com/
 
Coaching From Essence: coachingfromessence.com
 
Connect with Zovig Garboushian:
Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

E10: Why Tools, Tips & Tricks Don't Cure Self-Doubt

“A tool, while useful, cannot cure self-doubt,” says Zovig Garboushian, but it can guide our evolution. In this episode, Zovig challenges the allure of quick-fix solutions to complex behavioral issues in executive coaching. She discusses how frequent requests for tools to manage procrastination or public speaking anxiety often reveal deeper issues like self-doubt and emotional blockages.
 
Zovig introduces transformative coaching tools that go beyond mere advice, emphasizing self-reflection and alignment with one’s core values. Through personal stories and client examples, she shows how true change requires confronting the ‘thing behind the thing’—the underlying emotional and psychological issues, rather than superficial fixes. This episode invites listeners on a journey of self-awareness and growth, urging them to look beyond the surface for genuine personal and professional development.
 
Quotes
“Behavior is the easy thing to change when we can detach ourselves from the emotion that prevents us from doing the thing we want to do.” (03:24 | Zovig Garboushian) 
“Somewhere in the quest for the solution to procrastination or these other how-tos that we’re looking for lies a lingering self-doubt or a lack of self-trust or a disconnection with yourself. And that’s where we need to be putting our time and attention. That’s what we need to address because a tool will not cure your self-doubt.” (06:37 | Zovig Garboushian) 
“I come back to the idea that a tool, while useful, cannot cure self-doubt. We are human beings. We are always evolving. There is no getting there because there's always a new ‘there’ to go toward. But what you can do is notice your evolution. Notice that the doubt or the anxiety or the worry or the fear as you evolve comes with less frequency. And when it comes, it’s less intense and it is shorter in duration.” (25:01 | Zovig Garboushian) 
 
Links
[book] Coaching From Essence by Robert Ellis: https://www.prairielightsbooks.com/book/9780971752221
 
Connect with Zovig Garboushian:
Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm